One day till we leave

Tomorrow morning we leave for Hawaii. 

Here is a picture of where we are going.

This is my dads backyard.

We are in the midst of packing and composing out of office messages.  

I’ve been dragging my feet hard over this trip. It’s giving me so much anxiety. 

I hate flying and this is a lot of flying. I fear storms any time of year. July is thunderstorm season. I’m reluctant to spend this much money. I have some hesitation about how things will go staying with family. 

If I fly I vastly prefer to get a nonstop flight so that I don’t have to talk myself into a plane more than once. That is not possible when flying to Kona or Hilo (our two options). 

Here is how I’ve talked myself into it. 

The kids have never been. Considering that their grandparents live there that seems wrong. They both really want to go. They even had an idea of staying there all summer, which didn’t work out for Meg because unaccompanied minors can’t go on flights with connections. Kiernan, because he is 16, can wave his unaccompanied minor status, so he will stay for a lot of the summer. 

David loves Hawaii or at least he loved resort Hawaii so I’m focusing on that part. 

I said I would go. This is a big one for me. I feel like once I committed to it I could not in good conscience take any other trip until I fulfilled my word. 

I hate flying but I love to travel. 

I’ve been trying to think of the fun things that I can show the kids and the neat things that I will see and do. 

I know this is stupid. Everyone at work is so jealous. Everyone wants to go to Hawaii. This is such a great opportunity. 

I honestly don’t think I will go back again after this trip.

So I need to make the most of it. 

So far to help my anxiety I have packed fidget toys like sensory rings and worry stones, my migraine medicine just in case, I’m putting Minecraft on my iPad plus a bunch of puzzle games, I’ve written my Dr. about what my anti anxiety meds will do with Dramamine (I only take this for flying so I don’t know how it reacts with anything). I’ve packed some uno cards and I’m going to put in a notebook and a sketch book. I’ve put a bunch of Tolkien on my phone to listen to. 

I still need to pack chargers and hygiene stuff and a swim suit. 

I’ve been trying to think past the flight to when we are safe and sound in Dad and Mary’s house. My ideal image is going to bed with the travel behind me and getting a hug from David. 

Here’s us last time we were there back in the before times.